In memory of Thich Nhat Hanh, I would like to share with you one of the wisdoms I was privileged to receive through him. Thich Nhat Hanh was an inspiring teacher with a particularly simple and endearing way of imparting wisdom, a peace maker, an passionate poet and writer, and most of all a great example around the world through his particular embodiment of mindfulness, peace and compassion.

The lessons and insights he had passed on are plenty, but what I thought is truly applicable to this time is one about change. Everything has a temporary nature and is therefore impermanent, everything is subject to change. This applies to everything: flowers, plants, mountains, political regimes, bodies, feelings, perceptions, mental formations and even consciousness. We cannot find anything that is permanent.

Change is more than a concept. It is the essence of life. To live is to change. Without change, life could not exist. Without change, a caterpillar would never become a butterfly. Without change, our children would not be here…. Without change, all the beauty we are experiencing right now could never exist.

In our daily lives, we are convinced that change is the cause of our suffering: you experience great sadness or feel guilty when your relationship breaks down; you feel discarded when the organization where you work starts to reorganize, making your own place obsolete; you feel hurt to your core when your once sweet and affectionate teenager acts disrespectfully or distantly, etc. etc.

However, it is not the change itself that makes us suffer. What we usually label as sweet/ perfect/ safe/ happy/ beautiful/ etc. are things we want to cling to above all else. We absolutely do not want anything to be changed in these things and so we experience pain as soon as anything is changed. We see an ‘unwanted’ change as the cause of the pain we do not want to feel and we resist it. This resistance causes us to experience even more pain. In short, we suffer and we experience pain because we want things to be permanent while they are not.

You would now ask yourself: how does this help me? Understanding the essence of life helps you to see reality as how it is: Life is change. Everything is impermanent.  When you understand the essence of life, you can learn to live mindfully and even appreciate the value of change.

When you are aware of the impermanence of your body, you will take better care of yourself. Divorce does not have to become war if you can appreciate your ex for the love you once shared together and if you recognize that there is also time for yourself to work on your own development. The relationship with your teenager(s) will no longer be a battle once you realize all the growth phases your child is going through and will go through; You will even cherish the way they embark their own challenges. ‘Re-organization’ allows a company to continue to develop in the market, and so it also helps/forces you to develop yourself as well, even if you don’t see it that way at the time…. Change teaches us to live “deeply” and thus to appreciate each moment, and everything around us and within us. When we practice to be mindful of this, we will experience less fear, less suffering, and we will enjoy life more.

Not being able to handle change is also very understandable. As human beings we are built in such a way that everything should cost as little energy as possible, and change simply involves a lot of energy. With change comes a lot of uncertainty. Even when you are very much looking forward to a new phase in your life, it can be quite a challenge to appreciate the changes that come with it. So don’t get mad at yourself if you have trouble with change. Stay calm, surround yourself with people and things that motivate you, and take small steps. Before you know it, you will also become fresher and more loving, not only for the changes but especially for yourself.